Posted on Sunday, March 23, 2008, 20:32
once again, i failed my tp.. goodness.. i didn noe wad was gng on wif me.. tinking dat i wld pass initially.. i held on to hopes for it la.. but hu noes.. unexpected.. when i felt that im gng to fail while on the shortest way baq to the centre.. doing the last u turn and everything.. i totally lost my concentration.. in my mind was.. y did i fail again?? y must i haf to pay that $3oo again?? seriously.. i lost my concentration thoroughly.. fully.. so.. mistakes came out all the way.. mistakes one after another.. i duno y i failed again.. though the tester explained to me.. but.. i wasn reali paying much of an attention.. my mind was off.. i was reali very sad.. i was.. seriously.. i cried when i got hme.. had a good slp str. after a cry.. i didn haf the mood to go for band.. im so sorry.. i didn attend n i lied to them... other than christine hu knew the truth.. no1 else in band knows... my state of mind was horrible at that point of time.. christine encouraged me and told me dat it was ok.. nv to give up.. but i kept tinking.. am i the sort who can reali drive?? i so wanted to give up.. seriously i wanted.. but christine was telling me on th phone not to give up.. she asked me to go and register for a date immediately.. and trying to wake me up from my bad mood.. y must i fail again?? the second failure is so gng to create a phobia in me.. u will not understand wad i haf gone tru.. even after i woke up from my long slp.. i was still stony abt it.. seriously i was.. even when i met minah first.. my mood was still moody.. but it got better slowly.. met the homos in the evening for dinner.. my mood got so much better.. though it still hurt.. but i didn show it kk.. :) but seriously.. my mood was much much better.. they reali cheered me up.. seriously they did la.. hahahaha.. we joked and crapped the night away.. from 7pm all the way to 1130pm.. hahaha.. nearly missed the last train.. from the chicken rice shop to starbucks at vivo.. thanks guys for the company.. not much of a mention abt driving was made after they knew my failure AGAIN.. goodness la.. i feel as though i disappointed my parents, christine who wished for me to pass.. and oso.. the homos who were always supporting me.. im so sorry ppl.. dat i failed again.. anyway.. i reali wan to thank the homos and christine for being there.. the homos for making a wonderful night out which made me feel much better, christine who was there to guide me.. and my parents who juz willingly forked out another $300 without saying anything asking me to try again.. n my dad was saying,"it's like dat one la.. they seem to haf a quota to fail ppl. so they haf to meet that and juz dat im so suay.. in the quota.." wad a cute comment.. anyway.. saying sorry and thanks to all of them... *still feeling a little hurt, miserable and upset over my second failure!!! :(
